


That one groupchat fanfic

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Bottom Gintoki, Crossdressing, Cute, Except for sakamoto, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Group chat, Kamui loves gintoki and gintoki loves him too, Kinks, LMAO, M/M, Other characters will be added as the fic continues, Out of Character, References to Depression, Romance, Sad Gintoki, Suggestive Themes, but theyre idiots, everyone is super gay, lots of fluff tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 13:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Join the people in the mentioned tags on an adventure of discovery, romance and-Oh wrong fic. Um okay uh groupchat fanfic?Kamui/Gintoki will happen later lmaoExpect ooc-ness





	That one groupchat fanfic

**Strawbs4days** has added **Fruitpunchsamurai** , **Sakamoto_UWU** , **XxX_embracethedarkness_XxX**  and 4 others to the **I need help plz groupchat**.

 

**Fruitpunchsamurai:** Oke b4 any1 helps Gintoki pls tell me who @ **XxX_embracethedarkness_XxX** is becus im shitting my self rn JSJSGGSJDFHAHG

**XxX_embracethedarkness_XxX** : Fuk u Katsura

Gintoki change my name

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : LMAO TAKASUGI JSJSJSJSDJFJSGDHXBSJA

**No1Sadist** : Ha, how old are you, 12?

**XxX_embracethedarkness_XxX** :SHUT UP I WENT THROUGH A PHASE LIKE JUST LAST MONTH CAN WE MOVE ON

gintoki pls

**Strawbs4days** : I need help its really embarressing tho

**Strawbs4days** changed **XxX_embracethedarkness_XxX** 's name to **Takasugay**

**Strawbs4days** : is that oke or???????

**Takasugay** : first of all r00d but i still luv u, second of all y is it embarressing

**Stawbs4days** : oke so um pls dont make fun of me

**Mayo4life** : make fun of u for wat? ur life?

**Queen** : gintoki istg if this is wat i think it is im 1) saying i told u so and 2) saying u should have just asked me for help u dumb shit

**Fruitpunchsamurai** :im so curious gintoki tell us pls

**Strawbs4days** : im stuck

**Queen** :imma whoop ur ass u dumb bitch smh

**No1Sadist** :?????

**Mayo4life** : and?

**Strawbs4life** :im stuck

**Takasugay** : we know get to the point

**Strawbs4life** :in a wedding dress

**Sakamoto_UWU** : WHAT

**couldkillyou** : im already omw brb

**Mayo4life** : HOW THO??? WAT LEAD UP TO THIS??? HOW ARE YOU THIS DUMB???

**Strawbs4days** : SHUT UP I WANTED TO FEEL PRETTY AND WEDDING DRESSES DO THAT SO I BOUGHT ONE AND KAGURA OFFERED TO HELP BUT I SAID NO CUS I WAS EMBARRESSED AND THEN I PUT IT ON AND tbh im r o c k i n g it like im gorgeous rn

**couldkillyou** : ngl he is

**Strawbs4days** : asfsdf thanks??? ANYWAYS I FELT REALLY NICE BUT THEN I KNEW I HAD TO TAKE IT OFF BUT THE ZIPPER GOT STUCK HALF WAY DOWN AND I CANT REACH IT BUT no worries cus kamui helped and i am now naked and in need of clothes brb

**couldkillyou** : ngl i got a huge boner for what i just saw like dammmm

**couldkillyou** deleted one(1) message

**Queen** :KAMUI NO

**Takasugay** :Kamui holy shit yes

**Sakamoto_UWU** :SEND PICS OF GINTOKI IN THE DRESS

GINTOKI U SEND THEM ACC

**Strawbs4days** : y would i have them???

**Mayo4life** :ಠ_ಠ

**No1Sadist** :ಠ_ಠ

**Takasugay** :ಠ_ಠ

**Fruitpunchsamurai** :ಠ_ಠ

**Sakamoto_UWU** :ಠ_ಠ

**Queen** :Horton smells a bitch ass liar

**Strawbs4days** : ye oke i took pics here

**Strawbs4days** sent four(4) photos.

**Strawbs4days** : pls dont blackmail me

**couldkillyou** :none of them would ever do that

**Takasugay** :i think ur wrong

**couldkillyou** : its not up for debate u lil shit(◕‿◕)

**Takasugay** : i think ur right

**Strawbs4days** : okay 1) kamui luv u, thanks, forever indebted to u ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ and 2) wat did kamui send that kagura was so against im the confusion??

**No1Sadist** : well...

**couldkillyou** : u best watch ur lil bitch ass mouth u whore

**No1Sadist** : try me bitch i have ss

**Strawbs4days** : try me bitch i have receipts on everyone

**Mayo4life** : everyone?

**Takasugay** : TEST TIME

**Queen** : Tsukuyo?

**Strawbs4days** : who doesnt on that women??

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : Matsudaira of Shinsengumi?

**Mayo4life** : HEY KATSURA ISTG

**Strawbs4days** : i have photographic evidence of him cheating on his wife and a dark secret of his ~(˘▾˘~)

**Queen** : Otea?

**Strawbs4days** : she got really drunk at my place and admitted a lot that i do not want to speak of but because i always have my security cameras on at my place, i have it all on tape (•ω•)

**couldkillyou** : im taking an educated guess and saying that you have receipts on all of us as well

**Strawbs4days** : very smart my boi as it is true!

**couldkillyou** : hes giggling in the corner rn its acc really cute

**Takasugay** : omg ur so gay

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : i mean?? we all are for gintoki at least

**Queen** : can confirm, i have one(1) whole girlfriend,soyo-chan is the light of my life luv that girl, but when i see gintoki i get like straight for a whole 2 seconds

**Sakamoto_UWU** : same, like i also have one(1) whole girlfriend, Mutsu my sun luv her, but like gintoki makes me gay if u get wat i mean

**Mayo4life** : wtf no

**No1Sadist** : dont fucking lie to our faces like this Hijikata

**Takasugay** : okay ye all tru also hiji admit gintoki is a pure boi who does make u gay for him

**Strawbs4days** :imblushingplsstop

also brb imma get strawberry milk

**Queen** : dont make me send pics of him to prove it, i have nudes as well and a couple of ... risque photos ;))) if u pick up wat im putting down

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : wHAT

**Queen** : ;)))

Zenzou is really easy to bribe if u buy him manga

i have so many pics of gintoki riding a dildo, idk wat to do with them but tbh i might just sell them

**Takasugay** : EVERYONE PLACE UR BIDS IM PUTTING DOWN 20 TO START

**couldkillyou** :50

**Mayo4life** : ...

60

**Takasugay** : 65

**Sakamoto_UWU** :75

**No1Sadist** : 80 also sakamoto wat??

**Sakamoto_UWU** : 90 and Mutsu wants them as well

**Takasugay** :lmao cant argue with that also im poor so no more bidding for meh

**Mayo4life** :100

**No1Sadist** : oh how sad hijikata u have to be that much just to see something smh

also 120

**Sakamoto_UWU** :130

**No1Sadist** : thats all i have fuk

**Mayo4life** : im also outta money

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : i never had money to begin with lmao

**Queen** : going once

going twice

**couldkillyou** : 250

**Queen** :SOLD TO THE MAN WITH THE VERMILLION HAIR HOLY SHIT COME COLLECT UR PRIZES

**Takasugay** : HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**Mayo4life** : he bet that much im so shooketh

**Strawbs4days** : Kamui just fucking bolted outta the room shouting brb for sum reason??

**Queen** deleted one(1) message

**Queen** : i wonder y

**Strawbs4days** : kagura wat did u make them pay u for?? also u deleted a message starting with 'i have so many' but i didnt see the rest then u all started bidding???

**Queen** : lmao kamui just fucking flat out fainted when he saw them im-

**Strawbs4days** : kags y do u have so many nudes of me what even????

**Queen** : Zenzou

**Strawbs4days** : that whore

i trusted him

and he betrayed me

im-

**Strawbs4days** has went offline.

**Queen** : oh shit boi zenzou about to get beat lmao

**Takasugay** : lmao rip

**Sakamoto_UWU** : Hes so ded lmao

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : someone save him

acc nvm i have a question i need answered

**No1Sadist** : wats ur question u _hoe_

**Fruitpunchsamurai** :

_What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead kiddo._

**Queen** : HOLY FUCKING IM-

**Takasugay** : im so fucking shooketh im laughing so hard omg

**Sakamoto_UWU** : W. I. G.

**Mayo4life** : HOW DID HE GET IT SO QUICK??? DOES HE HAVE IT SAVED SOMEWHERE IM LMAO HOLY

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : anyways my question has to do with our jobs.

Kagura is a successful ballerina.

Sougo and Hijikata r part of that secret police force thing

**No1Sadist** : we've told u guys its called the shinsengumi u literally said it earliar

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : no one cares shut up ahem

sakamoto is a successful buisness mahn

kamui and takasugi do stuff with swords???

might be mafia but like who knows mahn

**Takasugay** : u shut up

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : SHUT UP IM NOT DONE

But, what does gintoki work as????????

**Queen** : ...

**Mayo4life** : ...

**Takasugay** : ...

**Strawbs4days** : ...

**No1Sadist** : ...

**couldkillyou** : ...

**Sakamoto_UWU** : ...

**Queen** : gintoki y r u joining in??????? also welcome back bro

**Strawbs4days** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Takasugay** : oh shit is zenzou fucking ded

**couldkillyou** : holy fucking shit zenzou is fucking ded

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : who cares

gintoki wats ur job

**Mayo4life** : other than being a bum??

**Strawbs4days** : :0 the diSRESPECT 

foine

i get it

**No1Sadist** : no ignore the idiot, come bacc dad

**Queen** : dadtoki come bacc

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : hOW DID I NOT NOTICE WAT A DAD GINTOKI IS OMG

**Sakamoto_UWU** : DADTOKI IM-

#MEGABLESSED

**Takasugay** : dad pls come bacc and tell us wat ur job is

 

Wait whose our mom

**Queen** : either sougo, kamui or hijikata

**Mayo4life** : im not being your mom fuk u guys

**Queen** : sorry nvm, i only know sougo and kamui, hijikate who??? we dont need that whore

**No1Sadist** : im in the room with him and he looks so offended lmao also i vote kamui

**couldkillyou** :...me???????????

**Takasugay** : i can acc see that, ur very protective in a weird way and give great advice and look after us as a group when we go out drinking

**Strawbs4days** changed **couldkillyou** 's name to **hawtsuggahmomma**

**Fruitpunchsamurai** :DAD UR BACC FROM THE WAR

**Takasugay** : it fits so well im-

**hawtsuggahmomma** : ...

**Strawbs4days** : ;)))))

also im a successful author i tell u guys about my new books all the time wtf guys?????

**hawtsuggahmomma** : acc i knew, ive read all ur books

**Strawbs4days** : (ಥ﹏ಥ)my t e a r s

**Queen** : damn we r bad friends lmao

**Sakamoto_UWU** : I knew too, ive funded some of his earliar books but they barely needed my help

**Strawbs4days** :(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**Sakamoto_uwu** : ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

**Mayo4life** : where r u guys getting these emoticons?????

**hawtsuggahmomma** : they have apps on their phones, i know cus i saw gintokis

**Strawbs4days** : (⊙︿⊙✿)

**Queen** : theyre so pure im-

**Takasugay** : lmao its 5am we should probs sleep

**Strawbs4days** : thats v tru, everyone go offline rn or else, go to sleep okay?

**Fruitpunchsamurai** : hes such a dad im-

**Fruitpunchsamurai** has went offline

**Queen** : yeet gn

**Queen** has went offline

**Takasugay** has went offline

**Sakamoto_UWU** has went offline

**Mayo4life** has went offline

**No1Sadist** : lmao nite

**No1Sadist** has went offline

**Strawbs4days** : gn kamui! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**Strawbs4days** has went offline

**hawtsuggahmomma** : fuk im so in love

**hawtsuggahmomma** has deleted one(1)message

**hawtsuggahmomma** : nite

**hawtsuggahmomma** has went offline

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! This is my first fanfic ever so I hope you all enjoy it! Please leave comments and kudos!


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